Although I recently posted about dreaming that I could only speak for 10 minutes per day, quite honestly, I’m not very outgoing to begin with. I definitely have an introverted personality type — especially when I’m in a large group of strangers. 

The group doesn’t even need to be large, really. If I’m in a people-grouping of any amount, I am counting down the minutes until I can be alone… 

So I can feel at peace. By myself. With no expectations for talking. With anyone. 

Well, a few years back, as the Prayer and Women’s Ministry Director of a small church in the Colorado Springs area, I had the privilege of being invited, along with other ministry leaders and pastors in the area, to attend a weekend prayer retreat. 

The event took place in the mountains of Divide, Colorado at a Christian retreat center called Golden Bell. 

And yes, I was nervous, not because I was one of the speakers, but simply because I was expected to be one of the “talkers.” You know — talk to people… I don’t know… that are all around me… attending the retreat… the entire weekend!

Goodness gracious! (Yes, I realize I need to work on my social skills.)

Well, I murmured and smiled my way through and verbalized thoughts when they were absolutely necessary. I kindly exchanged the obligatory pleasantries like any decent human being would. 

Then the last evening of the event I received an unexpected gift. We were expected to partake in reflective silence for several hours.

Silence.

That was music to my ears! 

The leader asked us to began our quietness that evening and through the night, then continue on through breakfast and beyond until the next session later the following morning. 

No problem-o.

Instantly, I could breathe better. Everything looked crisper around me. My thinking became clearer. My strained smile became a giddy grin!

Those of the more outgoing nature were in my world now. And they were uncomfortable.

I realized this the next day at breakfast while we stood in the buffet line. My nods and smiles were met with downward head snaps and avoidant eyes.

It was as though they thought silence meant you couldn’t look at people either. Ha!

I giggled inside watching them struggle in silence.

After I sat down to eat, I nearly laughed out loud. 

People eagerly read the backs of Tabasco sauce bottles and sweetener packets as though deciphering the information regarding the calorie count and ingredients list could somehow solve world peace. 

However, I noticed that any hope of inner-peace they sought with this distraction was short-lived. 

As I chewed my toast, I wondered if they wished there were more details on the bottles and packets they could read.

In all seriousness, despite inwardly poking fun at other’s discontentment, I learned some things about myself that helped me to grow during this time.

Scripture says, “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength,” Isaiah 30:15 (NIV). 

The time that I spent in quietness strengthened my trust in God and in His calling for my life. I also had to repent for continuing to question how He called me. 

I felt restored about my calling as a writer. 

God reassured me that even in my shyness, He could use me. In my quietness I love to reflect and observe — then share it all with others, just not verbally.

It’s why I write. 

I want so many people to know my thoughts and dreams and observations, especially about God.

Deep down, maybe I’m a quiet extrovert!

Regardless, if you ever see me in a large crowd, don’t expect me to do a lot of talking. I’ll listen though, and maybe even write about it later.

Most importantly, though, whether you are introverted or extroverted, God has a calling for your life. As you pursue a deeper relationship with Him, rest assured that He will use you.

Fully rest in Him. In this trust you get to know Him more, and you learn more about yourself.

So, sit with Him quietly. In the silence, you too may discover how He is calling you. And to God be the glory.