I’ve considered myself a fairly forgiving person. Am I really as forgiving as God intended for me to be, though? I’m not sure that I am. I think I have some work to do that includes a deeper look at the kind of forgiveness the Lord wants us to experience. In my quest to dig deeper, I’ve considered some questions.

Does the Bible actually tell us to forgive AND to forget? What does it even mean to forgive and to forget? Is it possible to truly forgive without also forgetting? Plus, what about those who have experienced horrific traumas? How can they possibly be expected to forgive or to forget? That seems impossible and unreasonable. Is it though? And what can we experience in life if we are able to forgive those incredibly unfair and awful experiences? Plus, what might happen if we “forget” such events even occurred? 

Goodness gracious! I have a lot of questions! Let’s start by delving into a perspective that has been placed on my heart recently. Maybe God does actually want us to not only forgive but to also forget. You’re probably thinking, “Seriously, Shawna? To forgive is one thing, but to forget is an entirely different beast!” Hear me out though before getting too upset. Keep in mind that my approach to this topic comes from a position of someone who has experienced traumas in life. Like you, I have not lived in a bubble of unicorns and rainbows. 

So, does the Bible even say that we are to forgive and to forget? Well, not directly, but it does provide us the keys to understand that we should. 

First, in Scripture, God says, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more” (Isaiah 43:25). (Bold italics mine.)

Then secondly, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13.) (Bold italics mine.)

God, this perfect, holy God, desires to blot out and forget our sins! Furthermore, this holy, perfect God wants to forgive imperfect us. His Word additionally teaches us that we should forgive in the manner He forgives us. Well, (you might be thinking) He is God. We are human, and as humans it’s impossible to literally forget. Yep! You’re right about the “literally” part. However… 

Let me explain, just like the fact that God doesn’t simply forget in the same manner we forget where we placed our keys, He blots out our sins because He chooses to. He tells us in the afore mentioned scripture that he blots out our sins for His own sake. He doesn’t want to remember them. It doesn’t serve Him in anyway to remember our sins or to throw them back in our face after we have repented, and He has forgiven. 

Keeping these things in mind, we can forget other’s transgressions against us in the same manner God does this for you and me — by choosing not to bring them up because it will not serve us well to do so. Like God, this kind of forgiving/forgetting is done “for our own sake.” It’s a way of allowing us to move on and no longer bring it to mind because it doesn’t usefully serve us. Even more, it provides us a clearer and better perspective in life moving forward.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:18-19). Wow! That encourages me even more! We need to forget and no longer dwell on past grievances because God has something new for us to experience. It doesn’t mean the bad stuff just goes away. It means that He makes a way and refreshes us amid the wildernesses and wastelands. 

What about those who have experienced unbelievable traumas? How can any of us expect to forgive and forget such things. Well, let me remind you of the torture Jesus endured for us as He hung on the cross after being crucified amid two criminals. Luke 23:24 teaches us that, “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” 

If Jesus Christ can forgive in such a way, then you and I should too. It isn’t easy, but it’s necessary to live a more fulfilling life, one that God intended us to live.

Jesus’ death on the cross paid the penalty for our sins. Those who repent of their sins are forgiven by the Lord Jesus. He rose from the dead after His punishment on the cross for us so that those who have repented could have eternal life with Him in heaven. 

So we forgive and forget, and our focus remains on what Jesus has done for us. That, my friends, is what you and I need to remember!